The Life and Times of Mr. Jive-Ass Milton Arder the Third

Unkle Miltie. That’s one of the many names I call my dad. Like most of our inside jokes, I have no idea where it started. I think I just found it funny that his nieces call him Uncle Milton. Or maybe it was more interesting than funny—realizing that people close to me know my dad as an uncle, a version of him I’ll never personally experience.

Anyway, I was driving down the street when it hit me—damn, I miss my daddy. And that’s rare because I’ve shied away from calling him “daddy” ever since I started assigning men that same title. It just didn’t feel right, lol.

But there I was, vibing to Pillz by Gucci Man, thinking about how I could work the song into a future vlog. It put me in my Atlanta bag. Naturally, when Gucci said, “Went to the strip club and requested ‘I’m Da Man,’” I wanted to hear I’m Da Man by Shawty Lo next. Except—honest mistake—it’s actually by D4L, not group member Shawty Lo (RIP), who had his own set of bangers. But Siri should’ve known what the hell I was talking about! Instead, she hit me with, “Now playing Shawty Lo,” and started a mix of his songs. Surely I’m Da Man was on there, right? Of course not. Siri is not Atlanta!

Figuring she couldn’t get it more wrong, I took a shot in the dark and just asked Siri, “Play I’m Da Man.” And she—useless as ever—played The Man by Aloe Blacc.

Normally, I would’ve cussed her out, a la my dad, then remembered that at some point, humans will be slaves to robots and let it go. But this time, my reaction was completely different. I sobbed.

Because how crazy is it that minutes after thinking about how much I miss my dad, Siri f**ks up and plays his ringtone instead?

The words to the chorus blasted in my car as if he were there singing it:

“Girl you can tell everybody…I’m the man…yes I am…”

Because he was the man to me.

I admit I hadn’t ever really really listened to the song, but today it felt like Unkle Miltie was talking directly to me. I found his wisdom in Aloe Blacc’s words—they sounded as if they were meant just for me:

“It’s time to do what must be done.”

I couldn’t help but think of the lyrics Dad would have loved:

“I played my cards and I didn’t fold,”

“Is you really real, or is you really fake?”

and definitely, “I’m a soldier standing on my feet, no surrender and I won’t retreat.”

Then something else hit me. I hadn’t created the concept of I’m Doing My Best, Okay?✨ until after Dad passed—after that ringtone had been set. But now, these words ring truer than ever:

“I been through the worst, but I still give my best.”

Because I swear I do. I’m doing my best, okay???