Lonely Hearts Club
Putting away my groceries almost made me cry. It’s not that I hate manual labor—I do, just not enough to cry—but the realization hit me: I’m putting away groceries that I bought for myself, into my fridge. I had just come back from after-work drinks and oysters, and My Cherie Amour was playing from my Bore Worms playlist (it’s a long story) of groovy, feel-good tunes. The lights were dim, the vibe was perfect, and it felt like the ideal moment to create my vlog about how amazing my NYE was. Yeah, things could be better, but honestly, they’re pretty damn good.
Over drinks, my good friend and I talked about answered prayers. With ambition comes a constantly moving bar, and if we don’t pause to assess where we are, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we haven’t accomplished anything.
Like, I know I had a good 2024, but I spent too much time focused on what I didn’t have or accomplish, and found myself feeling down a lot. I even questioned if the few bright moments in the year were worth the struggles. But when I looked back at the highlights, I realized it wasn’t about finding good in bad—it was about recognizing that sadness is just a natural part of a thriving life. And hell yeah, it’s worth it.
I’m okay. I’ve always been, and I will be.
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New Year’s is my favorite holiday—it’s a celebration of fresh starts and new beginnings, a chance to reset and try again. I love the fireworks, and it’s always an emotional time (and Tay do be emotional). It’s the perfect holiday for me. But then comes Valentine’s Day—my least favorite. I avoid social media, steer clear of date-night spots, and try to pretend it doesn’t exist. Truth is, I only hate Valentine’s because I’ve never had one. My man gotta find me first.
I keep wondering how my man is supposed to find me when I’m stuck couch rotting and whining about wanting him to show up. But I decided I should just shut the hell up. He’s on his way. And when my man comes, he is coming. I’m not going to be able to self sabotage or push him away. There will be no overthinking or uncertainty—he’ll be here, and it’ll be right. Until then, I’m choosing to relax and enjoy these moments of freedom and solitude before my soulmate takes me out the streets.
I catch myself wanting to reach out to old work, but then I remember that I can’t receive my blessings if I’m holding onto something that isn’t meant for me. So, I stop. I mean, how much time do I really want to invest in a rental?
I’m working on breaking habits that don’t align with my goals. So instead of disrespecting myself by sending a late-night eyeball emoji text, I just take my ass to bed.
This is a strange season of life for me. I’ve never believed in letting one piece go before you got another one on the hook, but I know this chapter requires me to release my energy from temporary distractions to make space for my happiness. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
