Everywhere, All at Once

In my last blog, I contemplated my romantic life and my quest to become a willing participant in affection.

Ironically, during my time off work, I was reminded of the many ways love exists in my life beyond romance. I felt love in my friendships, from my family, the love I have for my city... But most importantly, I felt the love my inner child has for the woman I am today and for everything I’ve been able to accomplish.

I experienced a lot of little moments like that in my time off. Even while wandering through Target, feeling grateful for every small thing. I appreciated the little joys in life. Shit be going on, but I love my life.

Little Taylor didn’t have many sleepovers, so I really enjoyed hosting my friends for a slumber party. I loved preparing a charcuterie and welcoming them into my home, creating a safe space where they could relax and feel comfortable.

I’ve shared before about my struggles with social anxiety and my tendency to feel like people don’t really care about me. However, during this chapter of my life, I genuinely feel loved and supported by those closest to me. It’s just as important to me that my friends feel that same support from me. So, I made it a priority to celebrate my friend on her birthday and to express how happy I am for her accomplishments and the next chapter of her life.

In my quest to know and understand self, family sometimes takes a back seat. But with time off, I made sure to see my sister. She’s so nasty and so rude to me lol but we love spending time with one another.

I love music festivals, mainly because I don’t like anyone’s music enough to sit through hours of just their songs. I just want to go word-for-word with their biggest hits and go about my business. I went to One Music Fest recently—one of my favorites—but it had been a while. Part of that was probably me avoiding the bittersweet memories from the two times I went, which I spent with people no longer in my life.

I also love building new traditions to replace negative memories, so I felt grateful when my friend and I agreed to attend the festival together each year.

Quick anecdote: I absolutely loved Plies in high school. I knew better not to ask my mom to take me to see Plies in concert. With what money? Fast forward to this week, and I got to see Plies perform. It stirred up some emotions in me. While I’m not his biggest fan anymore, this was something little Taylor had always wanted but never got to experience. Grown Taylor is coming for everything little Taylor wanted and couldn’t get.

I really enjoyed doing things, but at the end of the day, the day got to end. In my solitude, I’m reminded of how much I love my alone time. I truly enjoy my own company and the comfort of being in my own space.

When I started this blog, I meant to highlight to anyone reading all the ways love can manifest in relationships beyond romance. What I’ve come to understand myself is that love takes many forms and can be found in countless places, especially when I take the time to truly pay attention.