You Know I Be Up On My Blog Sh*t

I watched an episode of Late Night Lockup, and the person being arrested said he had no friends left, and his family didn’t want anything to do with him. His mom groaned when he called.
All my life, I’ve questioned whether the love and care I’ve received from people around me was some kind of secret plot against me. It’s sick!
But while watching that show, I had an eye-opening moment. People are excited to hear from me, and they pour so much love, light, and happiness into me. It made my soul happy and brought me to tears. I’m incredibly grateful for everyone in my life who accepts me without requiring me to be someone else. As I am, for who I am.

—
August-October questions to further explore:

How much of our interactions in relationships are based on our perceptions of a person, rather than on concrete knowledge?

How many of our habits are born from trying to accommodate someone else's habits, only to realize their habits were actually shaped by consideration of their own perception of our behavior?

Why do we expect others to read our minds rather than clearly expressing our wants and needs?

At what point does ignorance stop being bliss? Like, when are we just wasting time in fear of receiving the wrong answer?

—

August-October notes on life:

If you’re sorry, it’s important to apologize.
I made a comment that hurt my friend. Although I didn’t say it with the intention to hurt her, it did. And I think this goes back to leaving things unsaid: I’m sure she understands that I would never say anything to intentionally hurt her, but it was extremely important to me to verbally make that fact known and apologize. I think it’s important to realize when things that we say affect the people that we care for and correct it. That is, if you really care for them.

Don’t allow people to walk in and out of your life.
I just don’t have tolerance for people to deal with me when they want to deal with me. That being said, I love when I receive confirmation that I’m not being strict, I was right.

Don't dismiss what you've prayed for just because it doesn’t arrive in the exact form you expected.
So maybe it doesn’t look exactly how I wanted it look, or how I thought it would be, but this is what I asked for. I thought it would look different, but I finally got it.

Relax, enjoy, be still, and know.
My anxiety whoops my ass a lot. I’m always concerned if I’m doing or saying the right thing at the right time, especially in professional settings. But I realized I wouldn’t be in the spaces I’m in if I didn’t do something right. I consciously tell myself to be myself in every situation, not who I think I’m expected to be. Relax, be myself, enjoy the moment, and know that what’s for me will not miss me, regardless of whatever perceived mistake I made.

Other people don’t make my day, I do.
I’d been told a lot that I have a disarming personality, but now I really see it. I think one facet of that is not even engaging with negative energy.
I’ve come to understand that sometimes people are just fucking miserable. And because they’re miserable, they want everybody around them to be miserable too. But not I said the fly! I’ve just learned not to allow negative energy in my space at all. Negative people hate to see they don’t affect you. I made the decision to have a good day; they don’t get to decide for me.